• Joe DiRoma

Why Do Men Stop Calling After Sex?


I'm sure you've noticed that the guys who are serious about you or interested in a relationship never call back after sex. They don't answer your calls, text messages, emails, or even come over when they say they will. What's going on? I'll tell you what's happening - it's called emotional abandonment, and he is doing this to get his needs for love met. In my experience coaching men on relationships and sexuality, I have found that most of them want to be loved in their own way but often don't know how to ask for it from their partner without risking rejection (another blog post). This leads them into sexual encounters with women as an attempt at getting the love they need. As soon as the man feels close enough, they run away, believing that's what they were looking for all along. Below, I’ll share 3 reasons why men stop calling after sex.


They Want To Avoid An Emotional Attachment


Men may try to avoid emotional attachment because they are afraid of being vulnerable. Men who fear vulnerability will often put up barriers so that their partner cannot break them down and affect the relationship. They might not want to get married or be in a long-term committed relationship. Maybe they don't know if it would work out well enough with someone else - even though you can never tell how things will go until you've tried everything possible together.


Men avoid emotional attachment because they fear it. Men are terribly insecure and confused about their masculinity. Some feel threatened by the idea of being emotionally vulnerable, feeling it will make them seem less masculine or desirable to women. You may have been wondering why men are so intent on avoiding emotional attachment at all. Many people will blame their "macho" front, but the truth is that they're just doing what was taught to them by society for years- keep your distance and don't show weakness! One example would be the way we teach our young boys not to cry in school, or else they'll get teased mercilessly by other kids who think it's a sign of being weak. Really there are valid reasons behind crying, such as sadness upon leaving friends they’ve grown up with since kindergarten. It often starts by saying things like "man up." It then continues into harsher comments which lead to feelings of inadequacy and a withdrawal from being vulnerable.


He Doesn't Find You Attractive Anymore or He Thinks Your Sexual Performance Was Lacking


It's always a bummer when you find out that someone is no longer interested in being with you. Maybe he just doesn't want to be seen as the type of guy who has sex and then disappears, or maybe your sexual performance wasn't up to par. The “old-fashioned” notion that a man is only interested in sex and not the relationship itself has been debunked. He might be over-analyzing his feelings for you or even just uninterested because your sexual performance wasn't up to par. Suppose this sounds like it could have happened with past partners as well, in that case, there may be something about yourself that makes him think twice before continuing on an actual date with you, instead of simply sleeping together without any deeper connection involved. It could very well mean one of two things: either he doesn't find you attractive any longer, or his sexual experience wasn't up to the mark. It may also have been a miscommunication issue between the both of you which needs clarification, so have the courage to reach out and get closure if needed.


He Could've Had a Fantastic Time With You, But Now Feels There's Nothing Left To Explore or Experience Together.


You would think that after you've had sex with someone, there's nothing left to explore or experience together. But what if he felt this way before you even hooked up? If it was bad enough for him to feel like the relationship was over just because of one intimate moment, maybe something wasn't right from day one. His lack of interest in exploring new things should have been a red flag all along.


Some people feel that sex takes away from the excitement of a relationship, but in reality, it only enhances what you already have together. People with this mindset believe that after having sex, there is nothing left to explore or experience. However, some experts say otherwise; they believe the opposite! They claim when two people become sexually intimate for the first time and share an orgasm, they bond emotionally even stronger than before. Sex can be one way couples connect on another level because their bodies are literally merged into each other through intercourse while feeling all sorts of physical sensations at once (pleasure included!). Don't we all wish this was the case... but it's not.


At the end of a relationship, there comes a time when you know it's over. I've seen this happen so many times, and it never fails to be an emotional roller coaster for both parties involved. The key is learning how to move on to create space for healthier relationships with others who can provide what we need from them without feeling pressured or unwelcome because they're "supposed" to. Whenever we're stuck on someone who has left us, longing for their presence, we block ourselves off from future partners coming into our lives.


If you've been wondering why the guy who was all over you last week has disappeared and stopped calling, it could be that he's done what he needs to do. He might not find you attractive anymore, or maybe your sexual performance wasn't up to snuff. It may have seemed like a great time with an amazing woman, but now there isn't anything left for him to explore or experience together. Most of the time, he fears emotional connection and avoids any attachment due to past experiences.



Be on the lookout for my new show, the "No Limit Love Podcast," launching in June! I'll help guide men & women through attracting the partner they want and their relationships so they can enjoy more love without fear of commitment. I’ll be discussing all things love, relationships, sex, and everything in between to help you smash through the limits placed on love!


56 views0 comments